Baby Jesus: The Card Game

The first to gain 42 followers is the winner! Gain Followers by sending Disciples on Mission Trips. Have a Preach-Off to take out an enemy. Defend against enemy Disciples with Agnostics. Beef up, slow down, or mess with the guys in play using Blessings, Curses, and Miracles. Baby Jesus, the scorekeeper, also has super powers.

How to Play:

All cards that you play or actions that you take happen on your own turn, in any order that you like.

Communion Wafers are the currency for this game. The number on the top left of a card is how many wafers it costs to play. On the first turn you can only spend one wafer. The second turn you have two to spend. By the time the third turn comes around… You guessed it! 3 wafers! And so on. Spend them wisely and you will dominate. As the game goes on, things get very exciting because you are able to play more powerful cards. If you lose track of how many wafers you have available: Smoke less weed or keep track with dice. Your choice but the author prefers the latter.

Each player starts with their Baby Jesus to the right of their deck, to help keep score. Slide a paper clip around Baby Jesus and when you get to 42 Followers, you become the winner, but more importantly - they become the loser. Baby Jesus' Super Powers help keep the game moving and are great for using up excess wafers. Only one Relic may be played on Baby Jesus at a time and may be used to damage an enemy once per turn. When it has been exhausted, it is sent to hell, a warm cozy place to the left of your deck.

Besides Baby Jesus and his Relics, there are two main types of cards:

1. Character cards

Characters have Attack and Defense. This is how they compete with each other. If their Defense reaches zero, they are sent straight to hell. During a Mission Trip, Followers are gained equal to the Disciple’s Attack number.

Agnostics - Defenders who keep your opponent from gathering Followers. If your enemy has an Agnostic in play, you must send it to hell before your Disciples can go on a Mission Trip or have a Preach-Off against a non-Agnostic. Disciples - Offenders who may either be sent on a Mission Trip or have a Preach-Off once per turn. Without gaining Followers, you cannot win so it usually makes more sense to go on a Mission Trip. If you do elect to have a Preach-Off this is how it works: You choose the character you would like to Preach off against (remember, Agnostics must be targeted first). Defense points are deducted from both characters equal to the attack points of the opposing character. This happens at the same time. So, if a 1/5 (1 Attack, 5 Defense) dude attacks a 2/1 enemy, the enemy will perish and your Disciple is now a 1/3 [mark damage taken with pennies]. Moreover, it might be a smart move to sacrifice a 1/1 against an 8/1 to take him out of commision.

2. Manipulation cards

Unless otherwise stated, Blessings and Curses affect only one character. These cards may stay in play to help keep track of who they have an effect on. Whenever they become irrelevant, feel free to toss them into the fiery pit.

Blessings - Turn your dudes into badasses.
Curses - Mess with your enemies.
Miracles - Save these for when you could really use one.

Now let's begin:

The game starts with each player shuffling their own deck and drawing 4 cards. Good cards to start with cost 1 or 2 wafers; you will be able to use them sooner. If you aren't happy with your hand, you may shuffle the cards you don't like back into the deck and replace them. You may do this twice. If you still don't like your hand, too bad. You'll draw a new card every turn so don't make a big fuss about it. Now flip a coin. The winner chooses to either go first (starting with just the 4 cards they have) or draw first.

Alternative 4 player version (2-Headed-Jesus): Each team helps one Baby Jesus attract 84 followers. Each player has their own deck. Make your moves at the same time as your teammate. Help each other out. You may look at each other’s hands to help strategize.

Remember to have fun. Because if you're not having fun... What's the point?